风的颜色 - <赵咏华>

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super funny :P

ktv worthy songs! ;)

past few days of recollections

4 july sat

went to nuh pharmancy as usual for my medicine run to get med for mom..

visited ah ma at ward, had to wear mask in case of H1N1 and met da gu gu with her son..

he's gg cambridge ( scholar ) - da gu gu told me they're not discharging ah ma , dr just giving her jabs of morphine to ease the pain..

5 july sun

went to church, and in the evening

went with mom to NUH to visit my ah ma.. spotted a few cute gals doing ward duty along the way ( distracted ops ;p )

when i came i tried to talk to ah ma but she was sedated.. like mar bo.. tried telling her i'm here and my mom is here to see her.. abt 7pmish and raining outside.. she looked so frail and weak, head tilted to the side and gasping for breathe...

I tried to sing some songs in hokkien the best i could and she frowned.. followed by her suddenly opening her eyes like violently and lifting her hands..

perhaps she is asking me to stop singing.. or she realised that i came after not visiting her for so long and she wanted to look at me.. i dunno.. i guess only God knows..

after a while she slumped back to bed and i told her that i would visit her tmr again...

6 july mon

feeling too tired from work and decided to take break and rest at home..

got a phone call at 2am in the nite which i missed and sms frm boon keat tt my grandma has passed away..

7 july tues

took half day leave and went down to boon lay for the funeral..

a bit very muo sheng with all the relatives cos i havent seen them for so long..

i guess it's in my nature and my mom's nature to keep to ourselves and stay away from big family gatherings.. even my mom's side we dun have much gatherings..

tot i saw a familiar face... one cousin of mine whom i remembered as a big eyed cute baby who likes to eat hum since she was 5 ?there was this one time when we went to the warehouse for one of our gatherings, and this little gal was putting her hand into the big pot of cooked boiled cockles, ah ma thought that she was playing with it, but actually she wanted to eat it, i think i opened a few for her too

:)

I was amazed tt she didnt hate the bloodly smell of the cockles..

sad to say, i guess that was one of the last few times i saw her :)

interestingly enough,

when i talked to her, we realised one food we could not forget was Ah ma's

"kiam hum" which was - chilled cooked cockles soaked in soy sauce- her famous pickled cockles which she would eat with porridge :)

perhaps i should attempt to make one glass jar of it someday :)

also saw the babies of that time.. all grown up!! some are even taller than me!

hong xiang looks like jackie chan now :D and hui qi become a mei nu already.. i only remembered her curly hair and that her mom always bring her and hong xiang to go swimming ;)

yu jun yu xin and wen jun.. wow wen jun turned from the botak head baby to the skinny fellow :)

my siblings didnt change much.. but i guess it's been so long since we last spoken to each other that it's hard to build the bridges to communicate again..

there's also some cute kids whom are not born when i was there.. all these remind me of the memories of me working at the shop at BL shopping center.. .:)

headed back to work after the ceremony of sealing ah ma's coffin..

and went in the night.

saw merrian from church- found out that she's working for my xiao gu gu company.. small world..

dunlin, shu hui and ziyang and yu chun and fiona came.. dayang came after work...

liang fu uncle n wife and zheng nan uncle and wife also came.. thanks for the support..

8 july wed

fill in later :)

9 july thurs

fill in later :)

stayed up the whole night burning joss paper for ah ma.. talked to yu xin ( for the 1st time since tuesday) - it all began with the qn from her.. am i tat kor kor that played with her when she was young? quite shocked and yet surprised that she still remembers me ;)

it's comforting to know that i did leave a good impression on some of my extended family members :)

we talked a bit abt the old days.. cant imagine when i was 16 and playing with her and stuff..

still see her as a 5 yr old big eyed gal whenever i talk to her.. haha.. maybe treating her this way also ( if u reading this huh, sorry but u'll always be the small little gal in my eyes lol )

we stayed up the whole night and basically tried to make up for lost time by catching up with each other about our lives ;)

nice to know that a 27 yr old old man can communicate with a 16 yr old young gal huh.. :)

maybe she's too nice to tell me abt the generation gap we have =x

anyways there's also a cute little gal named jia xuan, my tang ge's daughter - really hilarious and she just talks and acts like a xiao da ren :) maybe influenced by too much tv dramas and scv she watches .. good or bad? hmmm

overall i think i've been quite dao to the rest of the family.. didnt smile or wat. just showed a poker dao face.. nxt time must smile more :P

stayed up all the way till 7am - didnt sleep a wink.. and went home the nxt day to concuss..

10 july fri

late for rituals! =x concussed till 1pm and got woken up by woo xin's sms :)

we went to mandai for the cremation and everyone is crying so much and i can feel the great sense of loss- of losing their loved ones..

maybe cos ah ma didnt bring me up or wat.. i didnt have a very strong sense of bonding or loss..

could be also that i didnt keep in touch with them for maybe years ( abt 7-8 yrs? )

perhaps that's why i didn't cry a lot or wat..

forget to ask jin long for his contacts, also hong xiang and hui qi.. i got yu xin's contact and added my siblings to facebook.. hopefully can keep in touch with them from there.. :)

it's a bit awkward and weird but somehow i have to take the initiative :)

11 july sat

went to collect ah ma's ashes at mandai..

need to go 4 shu's hse tmr morning.. means i'll miss church service..

but will go church from their house there, quite convenient got 67 direct from teck whye lrt there.. :)

12 july sun

830am-11am church

1130-1230pm sunday school pri 4 kids

1-3pm choir

4-730pm go KYMC for choir training :)

Father's Day-21st June

Today is Father's day on 21st June.

Any recollections today? Maybe too tired to think..

or maybe i dun have any idea also..

Today's Sermon also talked abt being a father.

Not only Fathers have a role to earn $ and support their children but also a role in teaching the children too..

I will strive to be that kind of Father who teaches his children to depend on God and not his own ability and experiences..

must look back 20 yrs later to see if this holds true and also remind myself heh.. :)

german is quite hard to learn... cant imagine myself learning and singing..

had practise ytd at TWPC learning beethoven No 9 in D minor and Mahler No 2.

guess wat's this means :

aow fer steell ya aow fer steell virst do mime stobp mark koo tscher raeooh oun ster leash le bum

:P

Today's Verse

箴 言 4:20-27 (Chinese Union Version (Simplified))

²⁰ 我 儿 ， 要 留 心 听 我 的 言 词 ， 侧 耳 听 我 的 话 语 ，

²¹ 都 不 可 离 你 的 眼 目 ， 要 存 记 在 你 心 中 。

²² 因 为 得 着 他 的 ， 就 得 了 生 命 ， 又 得 了 医 全 体 的 良 药 。

²³ 你 要 保 守 你 心 ， 胜 过 保 守 一 切 （ 或 译 ： 你 要 切 切 保 守 你 心 ） ， 因 为 一 生 的 果 效 是 由 心 发 出 。

²⁴ 你 要 除 掉 邪 僻 的 口 ， 弃 绝 乖 谬 的 嘴 。

²⁵ 你 的 眼 目 要 向 前 正 看 ； 你 的 眼 睛 （ 原 文 是 皮 ） 当 向 前 直 观 。

²⁶ 要 修 平 你 脚 下 的 路 ， 坚 定 你 一 切 的 道 。

²⁷ 不 可 偏 向 左 右 ； 要 使 你 的 脚 离 开 邪 恶 。

taking a break from ACCA

on this road to complete my studies and get a "decent" degree...

decided to take a break

- to reenergise myself

- to focus more on work

- to open up my schedule to go mission trip

giving myself an ample list of reasons/excuses to skip next sem July-Dec 09. =I

end times?

Hot weather,

H1N1,

Aliens attacking Singapore,

ok third one is more imaginary than real ,

but are these a sign of more natural and man made disasters to come?

some call it climate change, some say the END is near..

what's your view? what does the Bible say about end times?

Linking all the current developements of the world with what God says in His written word..

We can't help but see the similiarities in the Bible..

lazy to read the bible, so i googled instead for the info..

not sure about the accuracy of the source though..

http://home.flash.net/~venzor/nasbchapter2signs.htm

hmmm too heavy topic for my non-scholarly mind..

eyelids getting heavy here.. zzzz

;p

new post for 2009

finally writing something for 2009..

it's only a few hours to the middle of the month of the middle of the year 15th of June ..

looking back, time seems to be that super fit runner that runs past u in IPPT and eventually laps you by at least 2 or 3 rounds on the 400 meters track before getting that Gold timing .. in other words... time really told me who's the boss in this race..

maybe my brain is not registering major events in my life anymore, more of the mundane -

work work work,

slack at lunch ,

work ,

try to slack at work,

knock off,

squeeze time to online, shower dinner,

talk to mom,

attempt to hang out by myself,

attempt to do that jogging routine that i've been procrastinating,

try to do that quiet time that i have always been putting off..

guess when u view working life as a chore and not something u look forward to,

u fill ur mind with more dread than u could actually realise.

and this dread and "sian-ness" can really block out whatever msgs or things or lessons that God wants you to learn or listen to Him..

on friends, with so many definitions out there..

my own conclusions is htat friends are always lurking and around,

it's only that i guess my peers all have their little phases in life that they need to work on and move on to..

we're all in different "micro-stages" i guess... some married and have kids.. some of them getting all busy and excited with their new borns ,

some with years of exp in work ( so a few more yrs and i'll ease into tt phase too i guess )

am i feeling lost? nope

am i feeling empty? not really..

just need to quiet down my heart, block out all the excess "noise" of the world and

be still in God.. to surrender and let go.. acknowledge that we're weak and feeble and we are in need of His Grace.. Let go of my own thoughts and desires..

Lean to Him and hear what He says.. sometimes it's hard.. its really hard? :x

surrender the outcome and entrust the cares of the world to God..

- Be still, and know that I am God

Many Gifts One Spirit

李聖傑/ 靠近

李圣杰 - 靠近 走在人挤人的走道 我问了自已 没有爱情的人是否会长命 那些电影常常让人感觉甜蜜 但是我不相信 坐在没有人的角落 我又问自已 究竟应该继续 还是该放弃 没有人能了解我 现在的心情 想看你 想躲你 难以决定 每当我想靠近 你总会装冷静 眼看你的表情 仿佛已经说明 我只想要证明 我们这段爱情 也许在你眼里 它只是个游戏 我只想要靠近 也很想要抱紧 回想到那过去 和现在新的你 我还想要参与 你的生活点滴 只要你肯相信 我一定会陪你走下去 坐在没有人的角落 我又问自已 究竟应该继续 还是该放弃 没有人能了解我 现在的心情 想看你 想躲你 难以决定 每当我想靠近 你总会装冷静 眼看你的表情 仿佛已经说明 我只想要证明 我们这段爱情 也许在你眼里 它只是个游戏 我只想要靠近 也很想要抱紧 回想到那过去 和现在新的你 我还想要参与 你的生活点滴 只要你肯相信 我一定会陪你走下去 能不能够让我 再说我爱你 还是你已不想听 能不能够把你 彻底的忘记 我是真的搞不清 每当我想靠近 你总会装冷静 眼看你的表情 仿佛已经说明 我只想要证明 我们这段爱情 也许在你眼里 它只是个游戏 我只想要靠近 也很想要抱紧 回想到那过去 和现在新的你 我还想要参与 你的生活点滴 只要你肯相信 我一定会陪你走下去 只要你再相信 我们会轻轻地靠在一起 ~~End~~

God Will Make a Way :)

Who Can Forgive?

The Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins. - MATTHEW 9:6

Perhaps one of the most significant ways in which Jesus is unlike anyone else who has ever lived is that He has the ability to forgive sins. I am sure you will know the words of the famous

hymn that refers to the forgiveness offered by Christ: He breaks the power of cancelled sin, He sets the prisoner free.

I know of no one else who can do that. Some psychoanalysts try to rid the soul of guilt, but though they may be successful with pseudo-guilt (guilt that is imagined rather than real), they are powerless to deal with the stain of sin that is deeply ingrained in every human soul.

The secular therapist will examine the stuff of your dreams, invite you to answer a series of harmless questions, and then drag out from your forgotten past the source of all your trouble -  some past transgression or sin. But even the most highly trained team of psychoanalysts cannot forgive. They may expose an old wound, but they cannot heal it. They may show you that your trouble is an ancient sin, but they cannot cleanse it from the system. And that is what our sick souls need most of all - forgiveness.

A man I talked to the other day said he went to a professional counselor, a non-Christian, who found the root of his trouble - an old and wicked sin. "Now," said the man, "tell me the cure.""Just forgive yourself," said the analyst. Forgive yourself? It's a lot easier to do that when you know that you yourself have been forgiven.

Daily Prayer

Lord Jesus, not only have You forgiven me, but You keep on forgiving me. Help me realize, however, that though Your forgiveness is free, it is not cheap. For You had to die in order to bring me forgiveness. Help me never forget that. Amen.

Tim Hughes - Everything= nice song :)

Potatoes: Food for Our Thought

Potatoes: Food for Our Thought

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag
containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.

The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?" The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

Moral of the story:
Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best
attitude to take! Love others even if you don't like them... 

The List

The List

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's maths teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "Yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognise it."

Opening the wallet, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

“Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists."

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So treat each day like it will be THAT day.

1 jan 2009~

The Primary Focus

In the beginning God. - GENESIS 1:1

We focus on what is without doubt the most noble and loftiest of themes: the nature and character of God. I have noticed that Christians, generally speaking, seem to be preoccupied with knowing more about themselves rather than knowing more about God. Ask any Christian bookshop manager: "What are the best-selling books?" Not those that unfold for us the nature of God, but those that direct us toward such things as how to get a better self-image, how to manage money, how to find inner healing, how to get more excitement out of life, and so on.

Not that these subjects are unimportant, but they are explored in a self-absorbed way that gives the idea that the most important thing in life is knowing ourselves better. It isn't. The most important thing in life is knowing God better.

John Lancaster, a minister in Cardiff, South Wales, in an article entitled "Where on Earth Is God?" asks the question: "Given a choice between attending a seminar, say, on the 'Glory of God in Isaiah' and one on 'The Christian and Sex,' to which would you go?"

He makes the point also that although the church often answers the questions that people are asking, the real problem may be that people are not asking the right questions. In today's church we are far too mancentered and not God-centered.

It is not by accident, I believe, that the Bible opens with the thunderous acclaim: "In the beginning God." I tell you with all the conviction of which I am capable: if God is not our primary focus, then everything else will soon get out of focus.

Daily Prayer

O Father, from this day help me determine to make You my primary focus. And give me the grace and strength to maintain it, through all the vicissitudes and uncertainties of the days ahead. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

How To Study For Final Exams

Before I talk about how to spread your study time out over the exam period, I'll give you a rough guide for how much time you can be spending in study. This is the study guide that I use, and have used since 1A when I made it up. It allows for 12 hours of study per day, with 5 hours of ``break time'' for meals and rests, and 7 hours of sleep (rows marked with an asterix indicate ``study periods''):

7:00-8:00      Wake up              (1 hour: shower, eat, psych up, etc...)  

8:00-9:30      Study                (1.5 hours) *  

9:30-10:00     BREAK                (0.5 hours) 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  

10:00-Noon     Study                (2 hours)   *  

Noon-12:30     BREAK                (0.5 hours) 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  

12:30-2:30     Study                (2 hours)   *  

2:30-3:00      BREAK                (0.5 hours) 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  

3:00-5:00      Study                (2 hours)   *  

5:00-6:00      DINNER & BREAK       (1 hour) 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  

6:00-7:30      Study                (1.5 hours) *  

7:30-8:00      BREAK                (0.5 hours) 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  

8:00-9:30      Study                (1.5 hours) *  

9:30-10:00     BREAK                (0.5 hours) 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  

10:00-11:30    Study                (1.5 hours) *  

11:30-12:00    BREAK                (0.5 hours)  

12:00          Go to bed. 

(I use the 11:30 to 12:00AM time slot for personal reflection. You may want to use it for sleep. That gives you 7.5 hours of sleep instead of 7.)

So, you can see that this suggested schedule gives you at most 2 hours of study time at a stretch, an hour for breakfast, a half hour for lunch, and an hour for dinner. I have arranged the times to flow easily around meal times and the times of the day when I am most ``out of it'' (note the weaker Evening schedule -- digesting your dinner takes more energy than other meals, usually, and I personally tend to be less concentrative at that time). You may want to re-arrange it to fit your own personal life schedule. I know some people like to study for 50 minutes and then take a 10 minute break, instead of doing big 1.5 or 2 hour stretches. Play around with it. But, you see just how much study time you can get out of the day, without more than the usual strain. It takes just over 11 days to make 140 hours.

Do It Yourself

You have not glorified the God who holds your life-breath in His hand and who controls the whole course of your life. - DANIEL 5:23

Most Christians do not pant after God in the way the psalmist described in Psalm 42:1. Now I must attempt to make clear what I mean.

First, let me pull into focus the major problem with which we all struggle as soon as we are born. When God created us in the beginning, He designed us to have a relationship with Him. This means that deep within our being is a thirst for God which will not go away. It can be ignored, disguised, misunderstood, wrongly labeled, or submerged underneath a wealth of activity, but it will not disappear. And for good reason. We were designed to enjoy something better than this world can give us, particularly in the sphere of relationships. No human relationship can satisfy in the way that a relationship with God does.

This deep thirst for God that resides within us makes us dependent on God for satisfaction, and that is something our sinful human nature deeply resents. You see, due to Adam and Eve's sin in the garden of Eden, we have all been left a legacy called "Do It Yourself."

There is something within every single one of us that wants to take charge and have a hand in bringing about our own salvation. So here is the problem: facing the fact realistically that we inwardly thirst after God puts us in touch with a level of helplessness from which our sinful human nature shrinks. It reinforces the conviction that we are dependent on someone outside of ourselves for satisfaction. And that is something we don't care to acknowledge.

Daily Prayer

O Father, I recognize this elemental drive in my nature which causes me to resist standing in utter helplessness before You. But I sense that there can be no breakthrough in my life until I face this issue and deal with it. Help me, Father. In Jesus’name. Amen.