风的颜色 - <赵咏华>

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super funny :P

ktv worthy songs! ;)

past few days of recollections

4 july sat

went to nuh pharmancy as usual for my medicine run to get med for mom..

visited ah ma at ward, had to wear mask in case of H1N1 and met da gu gu with her son..

he's gg cambridge ( scholar ) - da gu gu told me they're not discharging ah ma , dr just giving her jabs of morphine to ease the pain..

5 july sun

went to church, and in the evening

went with mom to NUH to visit my ah ma.. spotted a few cute gals doing ward duty along the way ( distracted ops ;p )

when i came i tried to talk to ah ma but she was sedated.. like mar bo.. tried telling her i'm here and my mom is here to see her.. abt 7pmish and raining outside.. she looked so frail and weak, head tilted to the side and gasping for breathe...

I tried to sing some songs in hokkien the best i could and she frowned.. followed by her suddenly opening her eyes like violently and lifting her hands..

perhaps she is asking me to stop singing.. or she realised that i came after not visiting her for so long and she wanted to look at me.. i dunno.. i guess only God knows..

after a while she slumped back to bed and i told her that i would visit her tmr again...

6 july mon

feeling too tired from work and decided to take break and rest at home..

got a phone call at 2am in the nite which i missed and sms frm boon keat tt my grandma has passed away..

7 july tues

took half day leave and went down to boon lay for the funeral..

a bit very muo sheng with all the relatives cos i havent seen them for so long..

i guess it's in my nature and my mom's nature to keep to ourselves and stay away from big family gatherings.. even my mom's side we dun have much gatherings..

tot i saw a familiar face... one cousin of mine whom i remembered as a big eyed cute baby who likes to eat hum since she was 5 ?there was this one time when we went to the warehouse for one of our gatherings, and this little gal was putting her hand into the big pot of cooked boiled cockles, ah ma thought that she was playing with it, but actually she wanted to eat it, i think i opened a few for her too

:)

I was amazed tt she didnt hate the bloodly smell of the cockles..

sad to say, i guess that was one of the last few times i saw her :)

interestingly enough,

when i talked to her, we realised one food we could not forget was Ah ma's

"kiam hum" which was - chilled cooked cockles soaked in soy sauce- her famous pickled cockles which she would eat with porridge :)

perhaps i should attempt to make one glass jar of it someday :)

also saw the babies of that time.. all grown up!! some are even taller than me!

hong xiang looks like jackie chan now :D and hui qi become a mei nu already.. i only remembered her curly hair and that her mom always bring her and hong xiang to go swimming ;)

yu jun yu xin and wen jun.. wow wen jun turned from the botak head baby to the skinny fellow :)

my siblings didnt change much.. but i guess it's been so long since we last spoken to each other that it's hard to build the bridges to communicate again..

there's also some cute kids whom are not born when i was there.. all these remind me of the memories of me working at the shop at BL shopping center.. .:)

headed back to work after the ceremony of sealing ah ma's coffin..

and went in the night.

saw merrian from church- found out that she's working for my xiao gu gu company.. small world..

dunlin, shu hui and ziyang and yu chun and fiona came.. dayang came after work...

liang fu uncle n wife and zheng nan uncle and wife also came.. thanks for the support..

8 july wed

fill in later :)

9 july thurs

fill in later :)

stayed up the whole night burning joss paper for ah ma.. talked to yu xin ( for the 1st time since tuesday) - it all began with the qn from her.. am i tat kor kor that played with her when she was young? quite shocked and yet surprised that she still remembers me ;)

it's comforting to know that i did leave a good impression on some of my extended family members :)

we talked a bit abt the old days.. cant imagine when i was 16 and playing with her and stuff..

still see her as a 5 yr old big eyed gal whenever i talk to her.. haha.. maybe treating her this way also ( if u reading this huh, sorry but u'll always be the small little gal in my eyes lol )

we stayed up the whole night and basically tried to make up for lost time by catching up with each other about our lives ;)

nice to know that a 27 yr old old man can communicate with a 16 yr old young gal huh.. :)

maybe she's too nice to tell me abt the generation gap we have =x

anyways there's also a cute little gal named jia xuan, my tang ge's daughter - really hilarious and she just talks and acts like a xiao da ren :) maybe influenced by too much tv dramas and scv she watches .. good or bad? hmmm

overall i think i've been quite dao to the rest of the family.. didnt smile or wat. just showed a poker dao face.. nxt time must smile more :P

stayed up all the way till 7am - didnt sleep a wink.. and went home the nxt day to concuss..

10 july fri

late for rituals! =x concussed till 1pm and got woken up by woo xin's sms :)

we went to mandai for the cremation and everyone is crying so much and i can feel the great sense of loss- of losing their loved ones..

maybe cos ah ma didnt bring me up or wat.. i didnt have a very strong sense of bonding or loss..

could be also that i didnt keep in touch with them for maybe years ( abt 7-8 yrs? )

perhaps that's why i didn't cry a lot or wat..

forget to ask jin long for his contacts, also hong xiang and hui qi.. i got yu xin's contact and added my siblings to facebook.. hopefully can keep in touch with them from there.. :)

it's a bit awkward and weird but somehow i have to take the initiative :)

11 july sat

went to collect ah ma's ashes at mandai..

need to go 4 shu's hse tmr morning.. means i'll miss church service..

but will go church from their house there, quite convenient got 67 direct from teck whye lrt there.. :)

12 july sun

830am-11am church

1130-1230pm sunday school pri 4 kids

1-3pm choir

4-730pm go KYMC for choir training :)

Father's Day-21st June

Today is Father's day on 21st June.

Any recollections today? Maybe too tired to think..

or maybe i dun have any idea also..

Today's Sermon also talked abt being a father.

Not only Fathers have a role to earn $ and support their children but also a role in teaching the children too..

I will strive to be that kind of Father who teaches his children to depend on God and not his own ability and experiences..

must look back 20 yrs later to see if this holds true and also remind myself heh.. :)

german is quite hard to learn... cant imagine myself learning and singing..

had practise ytd at TWPC learning beethoven No 9 in D minor and Mahler No 2.

guess wat's this means :

aow fer steell ya aow fer steell virst do mime stobp mark koo tscher raeooh oun ster leash le bum

:P

Today's Verse

箴 言 4:20-27 (Chinese Union Version (Simplified))

²⁰ 我 儿 ， 要 留 心 听 我 的 言 词 ， 侧 耳 听 我 的 话 语 ，

²¹ 都 不 可 离 你 的 眼 目 ， 要 存 记 在 你 心 中 。

²² 因 为 得 着 他 的 ， 就 得 了 生 命 ， 又 得 了 医 全 体 的 良 药 。

²³ 你 要 保 守 你 心 ， 胜 过 保 守 一 切 （ 或 译 ： 你 要 切 切 保 守 你 心 ） ， 因 为 一 生 的 果 效 是 由 心 发 出 。

²⁴ 你 要 除 掉 邪 僻 的 口 ， 弃 绝 乖 谬 的 嘴 。

²⁵ 你 的 眼 目 要 向 前 正 看 ； 你 的 眼 睛 （ 原 文 是 皮 ） 当 向 前 直 观 。

²⁶ 要 修 平 你 脚 下 的 路 ， 坚 定 你 一 切 的 道 。

²⁷ 不 可 偏 向 左 右 ； 要 使 你 的 脚 离 开 邪 恶 。

taking a break from ACCA

on this road to complete my studies and get a "decent" degree...

decided to take a break

- to reenergise myself

- to focus more on work

- to open up my schedule to go mission trip

giving myself an ample list of reasons/excuses to skip next sem July-Dec 09. =I

end times?

Hot weather,

H1N1,

Aliens attacking Singapore,

ok third one is more imaginary than real ,

but are these a sign of more natural and man made disasters to come?

some call it climate change, some say the END is near..

what's your view? what does the Bible say about end times?

Linking all the current developements of the world with what God says in His written word..

We can't help but see the similiarities in the Bible..

lazy to read the bible, so i googled instead for the info..

not sure about the accuracy of the source though..

http://home.flash.net/~venzor/nasbchapter2signs.htm

hmmm too heavy topic for my non-scholarly mind..

eyelids getting heavy here.. zzzz

;p

new post for 2009

finally writing something for 2009..

it's only a few hours to the middle of the month of the middle of the year 15th of June ..

looking back, time seems to be that super fit runner that runs past u in IPPT and eventually laps you by at least 2 or 3 rounds on the 400 meters track before getting that Gold timing .. in other words... time really told me who's the boss in this race..

maybe my brain is not registering major events in my life anymore, more of the mundane -

work work work,

slack at lunch ,

work ,

try to slack at work,

knock off,

squeeze time to online, shower dinner,

talk to mom,

attempt to hang out by myself,

attempt to do that jogging routine that i've been procrastinating,

try to do that quiet time that i have always been putting off..

guess when u view working life as a chore and not something u look forward to,

u fill ur mind with more dread than u could actually realise.

and this dread and "sian-ness" can really block out whatever msgs or things or lessons that God wants you to learn or listen to Him..

on friends, with so many definitions out there..

my own conclusions is htat friends are always lurking and around,

it's only that i guess my peers all have their little phases in life that they need to work on and move on to..

we're all in different "micro-stages" i guess... some married and have kids.. some of them getting all busy and excited with their new borns ,

some with years of exp in work ( so a few more yrs and i'll ease into tt phase too i guess )

am i feeling lost? nope

am i feeling empty? not really..

just need to quiet down my heart, block out all the excess "noise" of the world and

be still in God.. to surrender and let go.. acknowledge that we're weak and feeble and we are in need of His Grace.. Let go of my own thoughts and desires..

Lean to Him and hear what He says.. sometimes it's hard.. its really hard? :x

surrender the outcome and entrust the cares of the world to God..

- Be still, and know that I am God